I thought about writing one of those cheesy holiday letters this year. You know, the kind that are always two pages, single spaced, size 12 Comic Sans font. They talk about the parent, child, and the occasional "family" accomplishments (meet our new puppy, Fito!!)
Here are six easy steps for creating the perfect Christmas letter!
1. Include flattering pictures of your gorgeous family
I think we can all agree that making sure everyone is facing the camera can only be trumped by the epic picture that includes your 3 year old getting tea bagged by your 18 month old.
2. Give credit to your supportive, adorable spouse (who doesn't even realize you sent Christmas cards).
Here's a picture of John bringing his A game on a flight back to MN with our 3 kids under age 5. I look at it and think….that guy really deserves more blow jobs.
3. Discuss careers.
Meg quit her job and decided to stay at home with the kids. I think everyone is enjoying the change…..
4. Talk about each of the kids and their milestones for the year.
At the ripe age of 5, Charli is showing signs of her career aspirations…….
Sammi is learning the critical skills of getting dressed by herself. She is also showing interest in politics and asked to go as Donald Trump for Halloween (not pictured) #thehair.
Noah is almost 2. As the 3rd kid, he spends a majority of his time unsupervised and getting the shit kicked out of him by Sammi. #hugturnedheadlock
5. Talk about family adventures or trips.
John and I spent a few days in Napa again this year with our dear friends Mike and Cindy. I always worry that the UPS guy thinks I have a drinking problem because wine gets delivered by the shit ton. I passed him at the corner one time and he yells "Hey, Meg, I have your booze! Are you gonna be home in an hour so I can swing back around?". I think we can all agree that I'm straight up VIP status when the UPS guy is flagging me down at the corner.
#winepeopleproblems #weregonnaneedabiggergarage
6. Give a general sign off and talk about being "blessed".
We look forward to seeing all of you in the new year and pray for good health, good friends and a shit ton of good wine for all of you. God bless you in the new year.
6. Crack a box of wine, crank the christmas music, address, and send! Oh, and remember, the holidays should be about all the laughter, all the family and all the fun (and YES it really should be fun!)
Happy holidays from our Shit Show to yours….
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