Top 6 Reasons Having Cancer Rocks

I have this friend named Katy Davenport but she's saved in my phone as "accounting katy".  She was in the accounting group at work and I couldn't remember her last name when we awkwardly exchanged phone numbers.  She was my roommate the night before my wedding, my running buddy, my happy hour side kick, and someone who always appreciated my totally inappropriate comments.

Katy is kind of a rockstar because she kicked the shit out of ass cancer a couple years ago.  But now that shit is back.  Katy faced the first round of cancer and all the shit that comes with it like a bad ass. It's a tough pill to swallow when someone tells you that you have to do it all over again.  She could cry and whine and be mad and ask "why me" but instead, she's bringing her A-game to cancer's door again.

She's currently in Hawaii enjoying time with her hubby because in two short weeks she'll be going through a super shitty and uber complicated surgery at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester.  She'll spend ONE MONTH in MN prepping for surgery, having surgery, and recovering from surgery.

Katy is such a beautiful light, and laughter is one of her strongest weapons in this shitty battle against colon cancer.  So, I asked if I could do a super inappropriate, probably controverisal, blog about cancer that might make her laugh in the face of this shitty disease.  She insisted that I do it (even though I've been too chicken to post it for two months) so here it is.  If you think it's insensitive or inappropriate, blame the chick with cancer.

Here are the Top 6 Reasons Having Cancer Rocks

1.  People can't get mad at it you.

Why do you think I said she's the one who made me post this (possibly controversial) blog?

2.  You always get the last piece of cake

I mean, you can literally take the last piece of cake, pizza, nachos, you name it.  You just look at the person who is going for it and say "Is it okay if I have that instead?  I have Cancer".  Game.  Over.

3.  Three Words: Go. Fund. Me

That's right bitches, here's my website.  Make it f'ing rain!

4.  Cannabis

That's the medical term for weed, people!  Pass me the damn brownies because I just polished off a dime bag in one sitting.

5.  No Hair=No Lice

Seriously, it's not even called Lice anymore.  The shit roaming the streets now is called Super Lice and nothing short of a nuclear hair bomb is gonna kill that shit.

6.  Bye Bye Workouts

Chemo will either make you gain weight (even if you don't eat anything) or it will make you lose a shit ton of it without even trying.  Either way, you can say adios to Planet Fitness because working out has just become a thing of the past.

As we all know, nothing on this list actually "rocks".  They all completely and totally suck.  And for everyone who is reading this as a healthy adult, with a healthy family, take note of how lucky you really are.  Remember that things can change in an instant.  Remember how our battles, though they might seem unbearable in their own way, really do pale in comparison to people who are battling this horrible disease.

So take care of yourself.  Be grateful for your health.  Stop complaining about superficial crap like the crappy service at your country club and how bad your wifi connection is at the pool. Start looking at how amazing these people are who are fighting this battle.  My mind is blown away when I think about how Katy can be facing so much adversity but still tries to make OTHER people laugh.  She still spends time making an effort with other people.  She still enjoys the hell out of life.  If all of us healthy people took at a page out of a cancer fighters book, we'd all be better off.

Go kick some ass cancer ass, Acctg Katy!!

XOXO