She's Just Not That Into You...

People say dating is hard but "mom dating" is worse.  The process has lots of similarities to real dating.  You have all of the same awkwardness on your first mom date and you often cycle through lots of options before you land on someone who has potential to stick.  As with real dating, eventually the stars align and mom sparks fly.  Your kids love each other and your spouses get along too.  She's your daytime play date pal, your sounding board when you bitch about your husband, and the person you text when something super embarrassing (but hilarious) happens.

But the one day things start to change.  It's never one specific event that changes.  It's a series of events that occur and you might not even notice the distance in your "person".

Eventually it becomes painfully obvious that you are in a code red mom breakup.  You tell yourself that it can't be true and that you're being ridiculous.  You try to justify her lack of interest in you, but you can't.  And it sucks.

Here are the top ways to tell that she's just not that into you.

1.  Leave a message at the tone...

Her iPhone is her lifeline and she treats it as such.  It's her connection to babysitters, girls night invites, school information and, of course, Facebook.   If she isn't answering your phone call, it's not because she's not on it, it's cuz she's over you.

2.  The Two Day Texting Rule

She used to instantly respond to your text messages.  Now you wait hours or even days for her response.  It's a sure sign that she's asking you, begging you, to please delete her number and move on.   She may spend a few weeks in the "moms with benefits" category.  She'll send you a last minute text to get together when her new friends aren't available.  If she's a real bitch, she'll keep you at arms length for a couple months.  She'll send you the vague "check in" text when you've managed, with all your might, to avoid her texting her for a week.  You tell yourself you're going to wait a day to respond but 4 hours is the most you can muster.  Once she realizes you're hooked again, she'll go right back to her 2 day rule.

3.  Vague declinations

You invite her to do something and she responds with the "I would love to but I already have plans!"  Or "I can't make it but that sounds like fun!"  That response means she already has plans and she's definitely not giving you an invite.  You tell yourself that she probably didn't coordinate things and that's why you're not included.  This works for about 2 months until she has a dinner party at her house that you hear about from your neighbor who can't keep a secret to save her life because she's consumed her weekly dose of Xanex in one morning.

4.  Out of the mouth of babes

In my case, it was obvious for awhile but I didn't want to believe it.  And then her kid, who is as big of a bitch as she is, tells my kid "My mommy doesn't like your mommy anymore".  Well, there ya have it.  You can't really explain away that one.

At the end of day, we should never settle in life.  Not for work, marriage or the almighty "momship".  When your mom crush starts pulling away, let her go and find someone who deserves you and your bad self.  Just know that we've all been there and if the universe works the way it's supposed to, we will find our tribe when we aren't even looking for them!!