I'm a Botox virgin, I'm scared to death, and I have wine in my pocket….

One of my friends is turning 40 this year and she decided she was going to try Botox.  I invited myself to tag along and try it out.  We settled on Dr. Ginger Hensen at @Cincinnati Eye Institute.  Dr. Hensen is an eye surgeon so she literally does botox in between "put eyeball back in socket" appointments so she seemed qualified.

I was nervous, but I wasn't nervous about the pain.  My epidurals didn't work for my kids so Botox was going to be a walk in the park.  My biggest fear was that I would die.  I googled "botox related deaths" "death by botox" and every imaginable version of that search in the weeks leading up to my appointment.  #WebMD actually gave me an honorary online degree after about three weeks of this nonsense.  I started off the appointment saying "If I'm the first #Botox death on record, I'm gonna be pissed."

Dr Hensen was great.  She patiently answered our questions and explained the procedure.   I offered her a pull off my TSA size wine bottle and she declined, which I thought was very professional.  She politely laughed at my joke about "sharing needles (with my friend) to save money" but you could tell she takes her job very seriously.  It almost deterred me from non stop sarcasm….almost.  Perhaps the most impressive thing about Dr. Hensen is that both of us mentioned areas where we thought needed Botox and she agreed in some areas and discouraged us from doing it on other areas.  Kudos to honesty, doc.  She did make us feel like wimps for requesting numbing cream but I couldn't blame her for that one.

If you're thinking about trying Botox, here are some tips:

1.  Go with someone older.  It's better when you go with an older friend.  The "doesn't she need more because she's older?"  and "how much more is she getting than me?"  jokes never get old.

2.  Bring Alcohol.  Everything is better with booze.

3.  Don't tell your husband.  Most of my friends say their husbands didn't want them to get Botox because they were worried it would look "plastic" or "fake".  The reality is, men are so clueless about this crap that most of them probably wouldn't even notice if you didn't tell them.

4.  Read the waiver form.  Not because the information is relevant, but because it's hysterical.  It explains that you might experience "asymmetry" and advises you to "stay upright for at least four hours".  There goes that five hour nap I had planned this afternoon.

5.  Look the part.  I threw on yoga gear and my "I love camping" sweatshirt and I'm not gonna lie…I felt under dressed.  I'd recommend throwing on some rouge and lipstick too.

6.  Skip the numbing cream.  Because it makes you look like a pussy.

Overall I thought it was a fun experience and I would recommend trying it if you have some disposable income and you're too lazy to stick with an anti-aging skin care regimen.

I'd give you my "Cheers to Thirsty Thursday" look but I can't move my forehead.

XOXO- Tipsy Mommy