I've been amazed at how many people actually read a political post written by someone who calls herself Tipsy Mommy. I'm even more amazed that some people took the time to email/message me with feedback.
I got a few messages explaining that I left out some very important issues in my original blog and they suggested that I needed to research those before I rule out voting for either candidate. Given my self diagnosed ADHD, I can't say I blame them for assuming that I stopped halfway through my research and started watching funny cat videos on You Tube instead. However, I'm happy to report that I actually HAVE contemplated most of the hot button issues, even though I didn't spell them out in my blog. I am thrilled that at least 2 people are happy to read a 15 page dissertation written by Tipsy Mommy about the current shit show that we call the political process.
So, here's my take on which candidate seems to have shit figured out in (some of) the key issues this election.
1. Foreign Affairs
They even cover this sort of shit in US Weekly, so it's obviously on my radar. For the most part, Hillary is the clear winner in this department. I know Trump hates ISIS (at least he's got THAT going for him) but I think the extent of his expertise on the middle east is that he visited there once and it was BEAUTIFUL and that he got along quite well with all the people who lived there.
Trump is definitely a wild card here but I can appreciate his sentiment. We probably need to grow a set of balls that lines up with the size of our bank roll and figure out a way to be in charge of the playground again. And Trump has really been effective at highlighting some horrible trade deals that have been negotiated by career politicians so perhaps we could add that one to our "notes for next year".
VERDICT: HER
2. The Economy
I feel like I sort of addressed this in my last blog? Maybe not? Trump is the winner here. Hands. Down. Please don't do the whole "he filed for bankruptcy" business cuz it's weak. Super weak. Just for background, Trump avoided taxes LEGALLY and, ironically, it was because of legislation put in place by your buddy BARACK OBAMA to stimulate the economy. I'm sure this is somehow Bush's fault, even though the OTHER Clinton, in between cigar sessions, is the one who allowed no income verification loans through Fannie and Freddie which played a HUGE role in the fall of the economy. And don't try to tell me that Clinton was an economic genius because we were so prosperous during his reign. A main driver in the economy was the fact that the INTERNET WAS INVENTED!!! And, no, Al Gore can NOT take credit for it. Oh, and the "trumps clothing line is made in Chiiiinnnnaa". Yeah, and that's less than ONE TENTH OF A PERCENT of his entire empire. The huge portion of his empire is in BUILDINGS in the good ol' US of A.
I know people think we should tax the shit out of corporations but the problem with those damn for profit enterprises is that their only purpose is to make money. So, if we raise taxes on business (whether they're small or huge), they have to make cuts elsewhere. This is a concept that the American people can't always grasp because they treat credit cards with the same disregard that we treat the National Debt. The art of budgeting and living within our means has fallen by the wayside for the American people and without a doubt, it's long gone for the government. However, it's alive and well in the business world so increased taxes means they look for cheaper ways to get things done. This might mean off shoring call centers, factories and distribution centers. These are MIDDLE CLASS jobs that are lost and the wealth gap in this country gets worse.
VERDICT: The Donald
3. Immigration and Guns
I lump these together because, in my opinion, they need to be treated in a similar manner. We can't have full access and we can't have no access.
Guns: You're a complete lunatic if you don't agree that we need common sense gun control. But you're equally delusional if you think that LAWS will keep people from obtaining guns. The crappy thing about criminals is that we just can't seem to get them to follow the laws. Weird.
BUT, the whole "we need guns to protect ourselves" is also moronic (is that a word?). Unless you are trained by the military or in law enforcement, you have almost a ZERO PERCENT chance of effectively using a gun to defend yourself. However, there is an argument for allowing law abiding citizens to bear arms. First and foremost, it's in the Constitution (well, literally in the bill of rights but, whateves). When you talk about something that important, it seems like trying to regulate it is probably a little easier to tackle than taking it out altogether. My family cares about the second amendment because they're hunters. I get that, and I respect that. So let the argument be that people need guns for recreational purposes because deer are a real problem. If you don't think they are, you've obviously never totaled your car by accidentally hitting one.
Immigration: I mean, the "big beautiful door" would likely become the 8th wonder of the world so maybe we should do it?! We need something more than nothing. And we can be compassionate to people around the world who need our help and our protection without being naive.
Verdict: We are totally screwed.
4. Social Issues
I'm socially liberal. For example: Gay Marriage. I personally discourage ANYONE from getting married cuz it totally sucks, but, if someone wants to do it and they're having an open bar, I'm in. I don't care about any of the other details.
I'm pro life because I have babies and heart beat means life to me. But I don't think that means everyone else has to be pro life. And the reality is, the time and money that would be spent trying to enforce anti-abortion laws, even with some of the "exceptions" republicans claims to support, is just not feasible. Not to mention the absolute anguish it would cause the mother.
I think a handful of social issues are driven by poverty, which could be partially resolved by creating more jobs, incentivizing companies to keep jobs/production/distribution in the US instead of sending it overseas.
Sexism. I feel like any inequity I received at a job was because I was generally inappropriate and annoying. Not because I'm a chick. However, sexism exists and that's probably not okay.
My household is most impacted by fiscal policy so that is what drives my vote. And, no, I'm not one of those fiscal conservatives who thinks we can save billions by focusing on waste, fraud, and abuse. It's a small fraction of one of the many versions of that damn graph that everyone alters and then sends around with the official government seal on it. But there is some low hanging fruit that we should really just deal with. Like, for example, GOVERNMENT PENSIONS. I mean, come on people, this is such an archaic concept that companies don't even offer them anymore. And, in general, I don't think throwing more people at a problem (i.e growing the government) ever helps solve it.
VERDICT: So f'ing screwed.
If you have a candidate you feel strongly about, I envy you. I know I'm not the only one who feels like I am faced with two bad choices for our President. I am a (sort of) informed voter just begging for one of these candidates to prove they are worthy of my vote. And neither of them have done that. I'll probably end up voting for the lesser of the two evils (whatever that means) but I'm not going to like it.
In the meantime, I'm going to send the RNC a quick email and let them know that we have another election in four years and if they haven't started contemplating their candidate pool, they're already late.
And stay tuned for Tipsy Mommy's election coverage in Ohio which I'll be doing via FB Live! I hope I don't get shot!!
TIPSY MOMMY FOR POTUS!!
Thursday, October 13, 2016
Tuesday, September 27, 2016
The Candidates Suck....VOTE WINE!
*Prepare for political rant from a mildly politically educated person who doesn't really mesh with one party but has historically voted Republican*
This political process is so disheartening. Context regarding comments is important. It makes a difference in determining what people might have meant when they made a certain comment. The way both candidates are using sound bytes to inaccurately portray the other one is so wrong. And it's so sad that this is considered fair game in our political process and is, without question, perpetuated by the media. And I'm amazed at how many people feel so passionately towards either candidate but can't even articulate the top 3 things that set them apart from their opponent.
This political process is so disheartening. Context regarding comments is important. It makes a difference in determining what people might have meant when they made a certain comment. The way both candidates are using sound bytes to inaccurately portray the other one is so wrong. And it's so sad that this is considered fair game in our political process and is, without question, perpetuated by the media. And I'm amazed at how many people feel so passionately towards either candidate but can't even articulate the top 3 things that set them apart from their opponent.
I have really tried to get behind Hillary but she feels so dishonest to me. I can't wrap my head around the email scandal. I keep likening it to insider trading in my public accounting days. That might not have sent me to jail, but I most likely would have lost my job. I certainly would NOT have been promoted to head of the firm. I know there are reports that say she didn't do anything wrong, but there are just as many of them saying she did. And this isn't an isolated issue of dishonesty (and no, I'm NOT getting all of my data from FOX news). And that's also part of the issue, even those voters who try to be educated are often reading garbage sound bytes from so-called news/political sites/publications. The average America voter believes 90% of what they read, without any regard for the credibility of the source. Maybe we should focus more on the 1st amendment this election and a little less on the 2nd one. And the fact that Hillary admitted that she prepared for THREE DAYS for a debate against DONALD TRUMP is embarrassing! Anyone who can list three countries in the Middle East would win a debate against him. Her laughing was likely meant to "connect" with voters, however, as an undecided voter it came across as condescending and showed me that she doesn't considerable Trump to be a legitimate opponent, despite multiple polls that indicate the opposite.
And Trump doesn't seem to have any interest in convincing the voters that he's not racist and that's a deal breaker for me. I know the whole "woman" thing is annoying to some, but, I sort of tend to agree that women are, generally speaking, super annoying. I view him as a successful business man and I think arguments trying to disclaim that are pretty weak (he clearly offers a lot of other material in terms of why he would suck as president so if you're using the "bad business man" card, you're sort of grasping at straws). When you really think about what he's done...turning a million dollar (or even multi million dollar loan per some reports) into a multi billion dollar enterprise is impressive. If you gave most people in this world $1 million, they would turn it into something LESS than $1 million (case in point: the documentary called 'Lottery Winners: Where are they now?'). Starting with something instead of nothing is easier, but it certainly doesn't make success a slam dunk. And, I'm sure he's treated employees and partners and contractors poorly in some cases. Maybe a lot of cases. But I don't think that's any different than some political indiscretions from other candidates.
I agree that if you continue to increase taxes on corporations, they will continue to shift jobs overseas and this will perpetuate the wealth gap in this country. Sure, I think CEO comp, in some cases, is probably obnoxious, but it's based on supply and demand, like everything else in this economy (except common sense). If everyone could be CEO of a Fortune 20 company, they wouldn't need to pay someone a billion dollars to do it. But the reality is, there aren't many people who can do it successfully and if they return investments to shareholders, they get rewarded. They don't get handed out $1 billion in cash for showing up every day. They get equity/stock comp and that value is dictated by the success of the company, which, in theory, is directly impacted by their performance. I feel like Trump "gets that" more than Hillary. We all benefit from successful companies and we need to cultivate that success for ALL sizes of business.
And maybe we can teach our kids how to excel at something. We can teach them that if you really want to be successful in life, you have to work harder and be smarter than everyone else instead of teaching them that everything should be equal and fair. And when are we going to stop telling every person that they should go to college? Not everyone is meant to have a college education and the trades are VITAL to our economy. One of the few things we can't offshore are the trade skills. I really don't want to have to wait for a plumber to show up from China when my sink is broken.
I'm sure lots of people will have a heyday with my post and point out all the reasons that they're right and I'm wrong. They will talk about how the news sites they read are more credible than the ones I'm reading (ps- ANYONE can post on Wikipedia, just so you know). Instead of reading articles I've shared that support my views, they'll site articles that support their points without any acknowledgement of the validity of mine. The sad thing about this political process is that each and every one of us is perpetuating it. Social media gives us this armchair power to criticize and judge and disagree without ever worrying about being respectful and kind. And, quite frankly, without having to actually back any of it up with facts.
I know really smart and kind people who are voting for Trump. And I know really smart and kind people who are voting for Hillary. And, while I can't support either of them, I will respect the freedom and choice of others to do so. And as someone who has always been so passionate about politics, I am honestly sad today. Sounds like a glass of wine is in order!
@tipsymommy for POTUS!!!
Friday, September 23, 2016
Top 6 Reasons Having Cancer Rocks
I have this friend named Katy Davenport but she's saved in my phone as "accounting katy". She was in the accounting group at work and I couldn't remember her last name when we awkwardly exchanged phone numbers. She was my roommate the night before my wedding, my running buddy, my happy hour side kick, and someone who always appreciated my totally inappropriate comments.
Katy is kind of a rockstar because she kicked the shit out of ass cancer a couple years ago. But now that shit is back. Katy faced the first round of cancer and all the shit that comes with it like a bad ass. It's a tough pill to swallow when someone tells you that you have to do it all over again. She could cry and whine and be mad and ask "why me" but instead, she's bringing her A-game to cancer's door again.
She's currently in Hawaii enjoying time with her hubby because in two short weeks she'll be going through a super shitty and uber complicated surgery at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester. She'll spend ONE MONTH in MN prepping for surgery, having surgery, and recovering from surgery.
Katy is such a beautiful light, and laughter is one of her strongest weapons in this shitty battle against colon cancer. So, I asked if I could do a super inappropriate, probably controverisal, blog about cancer that might make her laugh in the face of this shitty disease. She insisted that I do it (even though I've been too chicken to post it for two months) so here it is. If you think it's insensitive or inappropriate, blame the chick with cancer.
Here are the Top 6 Reasons Having Cancer Rocks
1. People can't get mad at it you.
Why do you think I said she's the one who made me post this (possibly controversial) blog?
2. You always get the last piece of cake
I mean, you can literally take the last piece of cake, pizza, nachos, you name it. You just look at the person who is going for it and say "Is it okay if I have that instead? I have Cancer". Game. Over.
3. Three Words: Go. Fund. Me
That's right bitches, here's my website. Make it f'ing rain!
4. Cannabis
That's the medical term for weed, people! Pass me the damn brownies because I just polished off a dime bag in one sitting.
5. No Hair=No Lice
Seriously, it's not even called Lice anymore. The shit roaming the streets now is called Super Lice and nothing short of a nuclear hair bomb is gonna kill that shit.
6. Bye Bye Workouts
Chemo will either make you gain weight (even if you don't eat anything) or it will make you lose a shit ton of it without even trying. Either way, you can say adios to Planet Fitness because working out has just become a thing of the past.
As we all know, nothing on this list actually "rocks". They all completely and totally suck. And for everyone who is reading this as a healthy adult, with a healthy family, take note of how lucky you really are. Remember that things can change in an instant. Remember how our battles, though they might seem unbearable in their own way, really do pale in comparison to people who are battling this horrible disease.
So take care of yourself. Be grateful for your health. Stop complaining about superficial crap like the crappy service at your country club and how bad your wifi connection is at the pool. Start looking at how amazing these people are who are fighting this battle. My mind is blown away when I think about how Katy can be facing so much adversity but still tries to make OTHER people laugh. She still spends time making an effort with other people. She still enjoys the hell out of life. If all of us healthy people took at a page out of a cancer fighters book, we'd all be better off.
Go kick some ass cancer ass, Acctg Katy!!
XOXO
Katy is kind of a rockstar because she kicked the shit out of ass cancer a couple years ago. But now that shit is back. Katy faced the first round of cancer and all the shit that comes with it like a bad ass. It's a tough pill to swallow when someone tells you that you have to do it all over again. She could cry and whine and be mad and ask "why me" but instead, she's bringing her A-game to cancer's door again.
She's currently in Hawaii enjoying time with her hubby because in two short weeks she'll be going through a super shitty and uber complicated surgery at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester. She'll spend ONE MONTH in MN prepping for surgery, having surgery, and recovering from surgery.
Katy is such a beautiful light, and laughter is one of her strongest weapons in this shitty battle against colon cancer. So, I asked if I could do a super inappropriate, probably controverisal, blog about cancer that might make her laugh in the face of this shitty disease. She insisted that I do it (even though I've been too chicken to post it for two months) so here it is. If you think it's insensitive or inappropriate, blame the chick with cancer.
Here are the Top 6 Reasons Having Cancer Rocks
1. People can't get mad at it you.
Why do you think I said she's the one who made me post this (possibly controversial) blog?
2. You always get the last piece of cake
I mean, you can literally take the last piece of cake, pizza, nachos, you name it. You just look at the person who is going for it and say "Is it okay if I have that instead? I have Cancer". Game. Over.
3. Three Words: Go. Fund. Me
That's right bitches, here's my website. Make it f'ing rain!
4. Cannabis
That's the medical term for weed, people! Pass me the damn brownies because I just polished off a dime bag in one sitting.
5. No Hair=No Lice
Seriously, it's not even called Lice anymore. The shit roaming the streets now is called Super Lice and nothing short of a nuclear hair bomb is gonna kill that shit.
6. Bye Bye Workouts
Chemo will either make you gain weight (even if you don't eat anything) or it will make you lose a shit ton of it without even trying. Either way, you can say adios to Planet Fitness because working out has just become a thing of the past.
As we all know, nothing on this list actually "rocks". They all completely and totally suck. And for everyone who is reading this as a healthy adult, with a healthy family, take note of how lucky you really are. Remember that things can change in an instant. Remember how our battles, though they might seem unbearable in their own way, really do pale in comparison to people who are battling this horrible disease.
So take care of yourself. Be grateful for your health. Stop complaining about superficial crap like the crappy service at your country club and how bad your wifi connection is at the pool. Start looking at how amazing these people are who are fighting this battle. My mind is blown away when I think about how Katy can be facing so much adversity but still tries to make OTHER people laugh. She still spends time making an effort with other people. She still enjoys the hell out of life. If all of us healthy people took at a page out of a cancer fighters book, we'd all be better off.
Go kick some ass cancer ass, Acctg Katy!!
XOXO
Friday, June 17, 2016
The 7 Kinds of Stay At Home Moms
I've done extensive research and I've decided there are 7 types of stay at home moms. Here's a summary.
1) The Baby Talk Mom (BTM)
*Literally three inches from infants face* "Hi boo boo! Ooooh! What does mommy smell? Did you make a stinky? YES YOU DID! You made a stinky!! Silly boy! Mommy still loves you boo boo! Yes, I do! I love you boo boo!" *grabs monogrammed changing pad from Pottery Barn diaper bag*
Dear BTM- You sound like a fucking lunatic and I give you 13 more days until you start talking baby talk in the sack with your husband. Love, Tipsy Mommy
2) The Zen Mom
I literally heard a mom trying to discipline her 4 year old with deep breathing.
4) The shellac mani mom
5) The Babysitter Poacher
Punishable by death in the stay at home mom world. I would literally rather have you steal my husband than my babysitter, for reals.
6) The Anti-Hellicopter Mom (aka AHM or Oblivious Mom)
I agree, "helicopter" parenting is probably a bad choice, however, anti-hellicopter moms are flirting with oblivious parenting. I once saw an AHM's kid push their stroller into the deep end of the pool while she was practicing detachment parenting at the pool bar with a martini. Good luck making it to 18, kid.
7) Drinking Mom
Now this is the kind of mom I can get behind. They have the unwritten "I won't judge if you don't judge" rule and that rule is AWESOME.
Not every mom you meet will be your type, but variety is the spice of life. I just look for the drinking moms and everything else seems to fall into place. Just sayin'….
Cheers!
Tipsy Mommy
1) The Baby Talk Mom (BTM)
*Literally three inches from infants face* "Hi boo boo! Ooooh! What does mommy smell? Did you make a stinky? YES YOU DID! You made a stinky!! Silly boy! Mommy still loves you boo boo! Yes, I do! I love you boo boo!" *grabs monogrammed changing pad from Pottery Barn diaper bag*
Dear BTM- You sound like a fucking lunatic and I give you 13 more days until you start talking baby talk in the sack with your husband. Love, Tipsy Mommy
2) The Zen Mom
I literally heard a mom trying to discipline her 4 year old with deep breathing.
"Honey, please listen to your body. Take a deep breath. Now blow out all those bad choices! That's right…blow them out! Bye bye bad choices!! Good job sweetie!!"
Guaranteed that kid will be in timeout on an organic bean bag within 7 minutes. Blow me, Zen mom.
3) The make up face, size 2, "real" clothes wearing mom
Obviously you didn't get the memo that yoga attire is our WORK UNIFORM. You wanna wear real clothes? Then get a real job, in a an office, and flaunt your tight ass there.
Guaranteed that kid will be in timeout on an organic bean bag within 7 minutes. Blow me, Zen mom.
3) The make up face, size 2, "real" clothes wearing mom
Obviously you didn't get the memo that yoga attire is our WORK UNIFORM. You wanna wear real clothes? Then get a real job, in a an office, and flaunt your tight ass there.
4) The shellac mani mom
Go fuck yourself. How do you have time to do that shit every week?
5) The Babysitter Poacher
Punishable by death in the stay at home mom world. I would literally rather have you steal my husband than my babysitter, for reals.
6) The Anti-Hellicopter Mom (aka AHM or Oblivious Mom)
I agree, "helicopter" parenting is probably a bad choice, however, anti-hellicopter moms are flirting with oblivious parenting. I once saw an AHM's kid push their stroller into the deep end of the pool while she was practicing detachment parenting at the pool bar with a martini. Good luck making it to 18, kid.
7) Drinking Mom
Now this is the kind of mom I can get behind. They have the unwritten "I won't judge if you don't judge" rule and that rule is AWESOME.
Not every mom you meet will be your type, but variety is the spice of life. I just look for the drinking moms and everything else seems to fall into place. Just sayin'….
Cheers!
Tipsy Mommy
7 Things That Made My Kids Cry This Week
The thing about kids is that they're unpredictable. Out of the blue they will say something that makes your heart swell with complete and unconditional love for them and you realize how lucky and blessed you are to be in this life. And then there are those times that you have to repeat yourself 30 f'ing times before they even acknowledge that you're talking. And then it takes another 10 times to get them to actually DO what you're asking. At least twice I day I beg my kids to stop making me sound like a nag. But, I have to admit, being ignored is a MILLION times better than the WHINING and CRYING. Here's a recap of shit that made my kids cry this week.
1. Spilled milk.
Tipsy Mommy
1. Spilled milk.
Literally, milk spilled and hysteria ensued.
2. It wasn't swimsuit day at school
Ok, I admit, there's more to this story. I got an email at 10 pm at night from my kids teacher saying it was swimsuit day at school. After mentally thinking the teachers really needed to get organized and give parents a little more notice on these things, I laid out swimsuits so I wouldn't forget to put them on in the morning.
School starts at 8:30 am. When I woke up at 8:20 I was pretty certain we were going to be late. We rolled in at 9 am with swimsuits and towels. Everyone else was wearing normal clothes. I said "Isn't it swimsuit day today?" The entire class responded in unison "It's TOMORROW". Attention to detail really isn't my strong (swim)suit.
3. I washed my kids favorite blanket.
I tried to explain the process to her like an adult. "Look kid, that thing could literally stand up on it's own because it's so disgusting. This bitch is getting cleaned, even if it means that you are going to sit in the laundry room and cry for the entire 'speed wash' cycle." Be careful what you wish for. Longest. 32. Minutes. Of. My. Life.
4. I said we could't go to Disneyworld after lunch.
What planet do these punks live on?!?!?!
What planet do these punks live on?!?!?!
5. I put junk mail in the recycling.
Apparently I didn't hear her when she said she wanted to put it in the recycling bin. And for some reason, me pulling it out, putting it in her hand and telling her she could do it actually made her cry more. Worst. Mom. Ever.
Apparently I didn't hear her when she said she wanted to put it in the recycling bin. And for some reason, me pulling it out, putting it in her hand and telling her she could do it actually made her cry more. Worst. Mom. Ever.
6. Sammi's back was hot in her car seat.
Seriously, it's gonna be a long summer. Sammi is like a freeking polar bear. It could NEVER be cold enough for her so summer is literally her worst nightmare. However, in her defense, how has the air conditioned car seat not been invented yet? Get your shit together, Graco!!
7. I didn't take a picture of her poop before I flushed it.
Wait, what?? I don't even know how that would ever be a "thing" but believe me, I will DEFINITELY take a picture next time and that shit will be on the slide show at your wedding reception. You're. Welcome.
Seriously, it's gonna be a long summer. Sammi is like a freeking polar bear. It could NEVER be cold enough for her so summer is literally her worst nightmare. However, in her defense, how has the air conditioned car seat not been invented yet? Get your shit together, Graco!!
7. I didn't take a picture of her poop before I flushed it.
Wait, what?? I don't even know how that would ever be a "thing" but believe me, I will DEFINITELY take a picture next time and that shit will be on the slide show at your wedding reception. You're. Welcome.
I might not always be able to predict what is going to set my kids off but I know that someday I'll laugh at every single thing they did that made so mad in that moment.
In the meantime, I'm going to keep my wine glass full and try to remember that one day I'm gonna look back on all of this and miss it.
Cheers!!
In the meantime, I'm going to keep my wine glass full and try to remember that one day I'm gonna look back on all of this and miss it.
Cheers!!
Tipsy Mommy
Monday, May 30, 2016
My foot locker...
My dad is a Vietnam veteran. Growing up, I didn't know much about Vietnam, other than the fact that we were not allowed to ask my dad about it. I recall him having nightmares and screaming Vietnamese in his sleep. He would abruptly wake up but I'm not sure if he realized what we saw or heard.
I love you Dad.
Meg
About a year ago, my dad was part of a committee that organized a Welcome Home event for Vietnam veterans. That weekend was more meaningful for my family than I ever imagined. It made me realize that there were a lot of things I wanted to share with my dad, but didn't really know how to do it. Whenever I have emotions that I can't quite resolve…I write. So, this one is for you, dad.
Dear Dad,
Thank you for your service to our country. Welcome home.
I learned more about you during the Vietnam reunion weekend than I knew my entire life. I heard you say that people asked you if you were scared to go over there. You told them you weren't scared because you knew you were coming home. I heard you talk about the horrific things you saw. I heard you say that you didn't even remember anything about your time there until 10 years later. I heard you talk about how your platoon leader told you to take off your uniform when you got to the airport and burn it when you got home. They said you shouldn't talk about the things you did or saw. They told you to "put it all in your foot locker and close the door". And you said that's what you did.
I learned more about you during the Vietnam reunion weekend than I knew my entire life. I heard you say that people asked you if you were scared to go over there. You told them you weren't scared because you knew you were coming home. I heard you talk about the horrific things you saw. I heard you say that you didn't even remember anything about your time there until 10 years later. I heard you talk about how your platoon leader told you to take off your uniform when you got to the airport and burn it when you got home. They said you shouldn't talk about the things you did or saw. They told you to "put it all in your foot locker and close the door". And you said that's what you did.
During the Vietman reunion weekend, I realized how much you had in your foot locker.
Your footlocker holds the horrific images you saw of people dying.
It holds the image of the young kid beside you in a rice paddy who told you he was scared and then was shot by a sniper seconds later.
It holds the grief you felt for the friends you lost.
It holds the fear about your health from because of the chemicals you were exposed to during war.
It holds the anger your felt for the people who called you baby killers and spit on you when you came home.
It holds that exhaustion you feel from replaying those events every night in your sleep.
To paraphrase part of Corey's speech at your anniversary party "….we will never know what you went through in Vietman, but we're grateful for it and we're proud of you." Thanks to Operation LZ, we know a little bit more about what you went through. We know some of the things that are in that footlocker. But, more importantly, we also know the things you never put in your foot locker.
It holds that exhaustion you feel from replaying those events every night in your sleep.
To paraphrase part of Corey's speech at your anniversary party "….we will never know what you went through in Vietman, but we're grateful for it and we're proud of you." Thanks to Operation LZ, we know a little bit more about what you went through. We know some of the things that are in that footlocker. But, more importantly, we also know the things you never put in your foot locker.
The faith that you had in yourself to survive Vietnam and, maybe more importantly, to survive the aftermath of Vietnam, never went in that locker.
The pride that you have for your country never went in that locker.
The honor that you felt for a job well done never went in that locker.
The respect for every single person who has had the courage to put on a uniform for this great country never went in that locker.
The hope that you have to heal from all the mental and physical wounds from Vietnam, both your wounds and your fellow soldiers wounds, is not in that locker.
The brotherly bond you have with your soldiers is not in that locker.
That faith that you can help those who suffer from PTSD by talking to them and listening to them never went in that locker.
The unconditional love you have for your family never went in that locker.
And when the time came, when the world realized that we owed all of our Vietnam vets an apology and a welcome home, you forgave us. You could have put your forgiveness to all of us in your foot locker because it was too little too late. You could have put it in your foot locker because we owed you so much more than we could ever give you. But you didn't. The strength you have shown since you came home from Vietnam is incomprehensible.
That faith that you can help those who suffer from PTSD by talking to them and listening to them never went in that locker.
The unconditional love you have for your family never went in that locker.
And when the time came, when the world realized that we owed all of our Vietnam vets an apology and a welcome home, you forgave us. You could have put your forgiveness to all of us in your foot locker because it was too little too late. You could have put it in your foot locker because we owed you so much more than we could ever give you. But you didn't. The strength you have shown since you came home from Vietnam is incomprehensible.
I'm so proud of you and I'm so glad your my dad. You taught me to always do what is right. You taught me to always be honest. You taught me to always work hard. You taught me to believe in myself, even if other people don't. You taught me that I can mentally overcome anything. And you taught me to forgive.
So, if you ever worry about whether having a dad who is a Vietman veteran affected my life, I assure you has. Not because of what you put in your foot locker, but because of what you didn't.
So, if you ever worry about whether having a dad who is a Vietman veteran affected my life, I assure you has. Not because of what you put in your foot locker, but because of what you didn't.
I love you Dad.
Meg
Wednesday, May 4, 2016
It's only "the thought that counts" if you actually think...
Why is Father's Day "National Spend All Day Golfing With Your Buddies" Day but Mother's Day is "National Let's Do A Huge Outing with The Whole Family" Day? SPOILER ALERT: The "day out with the fam" thing is actually a shit ton of work for mom. Packing lunches, diaper bags, extra clothes, etc. etc….you get my drift. You'd probably get more points just scheduling a surprise root canal for her that day.
If you're in a romantic relationship with a woman who happens to be a mother, then listen up. Here are the top 5 things you need to do on Mother's Day if you ever want to get laid again.
1. Kids? What kids?
You know what totally ruins Mother's Day? Kids. I don't even want to see my kids. Dads should just pretends it's "No Mothering Today" Day.
2. Empty Nest? Yes, yes and yes!
You know what is amazing when you're a stay at home mom? Time alone in your house. When the house is empty (and quiet) moms can do laundry, clean, or organize the pantry. Or they have the option of sitting in bed, watching reality TV for hours and not doing anything that resembles "mom life". You know what's wrong with that? Not a damn thing.
3. Pampering, pampering, and more pampering
Massage, facials (from a professional, you pervert) and pedis, oh my! You know why moms love the spa? It's not because of the relaxing music, the scented candles, or the comfy robes. It's because they don't allow kids. You can actually take a piss in peace and then have someone other than your 3 year old rub your feet.
4. Channel your Inner Mr. Clean
That's right, honey. You need to clean. And then do the laundry. I'm tellin' ya, this is like mom porn. Nothing turns mommy on like watching her spouse share the proverbial load. If you can actually put everything away in the correct place, you're almost guaranteed to get a happy ending.
5. Get Creative
Once you become a mom, you're required to be sentimental. It just comes with the territory. So, if you want to make your old lady swoon, help the kiddos make homemade cards to celebrate Mother's Day. You get points for being creative and you're sort of sticking it to that asshole Mr. Hallmark who made up this damn day in the first place.
So, this Mother's Day, try to do all the things your spouse/partner/girlfriend does for your entire family every single day. It will make her feel loved and it just might make you appreciate her a little bit more too.
And you should probably have a glass of wine waiting for her when she finally gets home too.
Cheers!
XOXO Tipsy Mommy
If you're in a romantic relationship with a woman who happens to be a mother, then listen up. Here are the top 5 things you need to do on Mother's Day if you ever want to get laid again.
1. Kids? What kids?
You know what totally ruins Mother's Day? Kids. I don't even want to see my kids. Dads should just pretends it's "No Mothering Today" Day.
2. Empty Nest? Yes, yes and yes!
You know what is amazing when you're a stay at home mom? Time alone in your house. When the house is empty (and quiet) moms can do laundry, clean, or organize the pantry. Or they have the option of sitting in bed, watching reality TV for hours and not doing anything that resembles "mom life". You know what's wrong with that? Not a damn thing.
3. Pampering, pampering, and more pampering
Massage, facials (from a professional, you pervert) and pedis, oh my! You know why moms love the spa? It's not because of the relaxing music, the scented candles, or the comfy robes. It's because they don't allow kids. You can actually take a piss in peace and then have someone other than your 3 year old rub your feet.
4. Channel your Inner Mr. Clean
That's right, honey. You need to clean. And then do the laundry. I'm tellin' ya, this is like mom porn. Nothing turns mommy on like watching her spouse share the proverbial load. If you can actually put everything away in the correct place, you're almost guaranteed to get a happy ending.
5. Get Creative
Once you become a mom, you're required to be sentimental. It just comes with the territory. So, if you want to make your old lady swoon, help the kiddos make homemade cards to celebrate Mother's Day. You get points for being creative and you're sort of sticking it to that asshole Mr. Hallmark who made up this damn day in the first place.
So, this Mother's Day, try to do all the things your spouse/partner/girlfriend does for your entire family every single day. It will make her feel loved and it just might make you appreciate her a little bit more too.
And you should probably have a glass of wine waiting for her when she finally gets home too.
Cheers!
XOXO Tipsy Mommy
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